Modern-Day Chivalry

Now that I have a job, conveniently located in Downtown Cleveland, I take the bus to work. It is on this twice-daily ride that I see what I'm calling "modern-day chivalry."

Men step aside to let women on the bus first, although it reduces their chances of grabbing a seat. They offer the only available seat to a standing woman, or even give up their own.

It's strange. It's usually established businessmen in their thirties or forties. They seem to make the sacrifice without even thinking about it. Deep in their ideas about gender is the idea of chivalry, the importance of acting as "gallant or distinguished gentlemen," according to Merriam Webster.

I watch these people while I sit on the bus, searching their faces for an explanation. I know some of you are thinking, "Well, that's just how it is." But I disagree. Some men still seem to think women are the weaker, so they offer their seat because they believe standing during the ride to work is easier for their manly selves. Others look like they do it only because they always have.

Men in their twenties do not usually attempt this kind of gentlemanly behavior, unless it is with someone they know. This is my generation, who grew up in the 90s thinking either a) it was obvious that men and women were equal or b) they don't care. Why should a guy give up his seat to an equally strong and capable woman? Or to some girl?

These were my thoughts on the bus this morning, as I stood for most of the ride here and no one offered their seat. I don't mind standing and I'm not offended when no one sacrifices for me, but it reminded me of this thought I keep thinking. And I figured that since I'm out of college, I'd better start writing my thoughts down or else they will be lost forever.

So there you go.

Comments

talk2deb said…
Like you I examine these behaviors and traditions in life. Maybe it's something we can discuss over a beverage someday. I give you this thought, that it is only now that I've turned forty does it really resonate deep within me of why it makes sense and how comfortable I can be with it considering I was most often sharing your mindset for most of my days...almost feeling insulted (as being perceived as lesser) when those actions were taken "for" me. I do think we each give off a vibe and if your vibe says, "don't do that for me" you'll experience it less and vice versa. And for me I still find that I'm more apt to easily accept it from some people more than from others (depending upon how I perceive their intent). Overall I expect we should get comfortable with ourselves enough that we can accept the behavior of others regardless of how they got to their conclusions. Love and Laughter.... Deb : ) xo

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